Julian Assange On Trial

Yes, everyone's been hacked and Rupert Murdoch's melting candle face is dominating the front page, so you may have missed Julian Assange's trial earlier this week. It was quite interesting and important. But don't worry, you can catch up here... 

Julian Assange is, for those unfamiliar, the figurehead for Wikileaks- the organisation that began casually releasing a stream of embarrassing, yet often revelatory, private memos from the US state department earlier this year. Unfortunately, he also has the face of a perverted uncle.

You know. Those grey locks. The "sparkling" eyes. That lascivious smile faintly reminiscent of the creepy guy on the night bus. Or your uncle. Or your uncle on a night bus.

He's accused of being a "high tech terrorist", there have been calls for his assassination, and Newt Gingrich declared "Wikileaks should be closed down permanently", despite overlooking the fact his name is Newt, and therefore nothing he says can be taken seriously. Aside from this, you could almost see the reams of US government officials trawling through Assange's history as the cables continued to leak, snuffling for any dirt they could find to send him packing to a large manhole. Or, alternatively, Sweden.

First came the online dating profile. That wasn't great, but it wasn't an arrestable offence. Second came the allegations of rape in Stockholm last August, which wasn't so great. And was definitely arrestable.

Having been confined in Norfolk (!) for over six months, wearing an electronic ankle bracelet and checking in daily at the Norfolk police station, Assange was finally was put on trial.

Two women, AA and SW, described "circumstances in which they did not freely consent with coercion" and now it's the Royal Courts will decide whether or not to send him packing to the manhole/Sweden quicker than you can say BUT AA SPENT FOUR NIGHTS PRIOR TO THE ALLEGED ASSAULT SLEEPING IN A SINGLE BED WITH HIM.  Or GOD I REALLY WANT SOME SOUP.

Not that there isn't evidence for rape, of course. Assange did apparently rip their clothes off, break a necklace and try to get down on it without a condom. In fact he didn't try. He definitely got down on it. Thanks to The Guardian, we have all the details whether we wanted to know or not. Assange "trying to force her legs apart to insert his unprotected penis"? Cheers, yeah. Of course it's a severe situation, but one can't help feeling vaguely unhappy about the visuals. Sort of like if your grandmother's boob fell out over Sunday dinner. Serious, yes. Pleasing? Hardly.

The charming images continued with some some lovely debates about the life cycle of an erection. Assange's counsel, QC Ben Emmerson pointed out: "If she chooses to spend a night in a single bed with a man there is a strong possibility she will come into contact with an erect penis." to which the judge agreed, and everyone in the Royal Courts threw up on themselves at the thought of.

The issue isn't, however, the evidence. An extradition verdict is concerned with whether the charge amounts to a crime, based on the conduct. The question isn't whether this is a "good" case or a "bad" case- despite the fact SW, according to the prosecution, told a friend she felt police had "railroaded her" into pressing charges- it's whether what has been alleged amounts to an offence.

Perhaps he is guilty, in which case  he should be punished. Perhaps this was blown out of proportion as a handy way of ensuring he- and consequently, Wikileaks- loses face by bombarding us with unsavoury images of him being a perv. WHO KNOWS? (I don't)

And there are more pressing issues than Julian's Assange. If he is extradited, Sweden could in turn extradite him to the US. Jetlag aside, he could go down the same route as Pfc Bradley Manning, accused of leaking documents to WikiLeaks earlier this year. Manning has been kept in solitary confinement in the US for over eight months under conditions that are, according to many, tantamount to torture.

Whether or not this is true, there are a lot of influential, powerful and probably quite well-built people in the US that would really like to be left in a room, alone, with Julian. And by that, I am insinuating they want to punch him. In case it wasn't clear.

So that's- very briefly- where we are so far. Now you're filled in, go and follow it just as we're approaching Crunch Time safe in the knowledge that you've got some, y'know,  knowledge.