Captain America

Released: July 19th, 2011
Director: Joe Johnston
Ok, so Marvel have taken the gloves off now, forget all the nudges, winks and eyepatches the last few films have been subtly ramming up our bums, it's Avengers o'clock and here's the first one! Captain America introduces one of the trickiest characters for an audience to attach to in the Marvel (sigh) Universe, America have sort of blotted their copybook by doing some fairly unpopular wars over the past few years and to push being "American" to be as good as being "Iron" or "Hulky", is a tough sell.


So what have they done? There's a British lady in it! Dominic Cooper plays Howard Stark! There's a man in a Bowler hat! In other words, lots. It's really pushed into the background how American this guy is, the doctor that makes him super is a German, and the Americans he's fighting for (except for the bloody brave soldiers) tend to look a bit like dicks in this film, and that's pretty brave for the filmmakers.



One feeling I did come away with from this movie was, "What's next?" All the way through, I felt like I was waiting for the real movie to start (This feeling is known as Incepectation) and I don't think it really will until we see the Avengers. It trotted along nicely with some nice set pieces and some not too boring exposition, setting 95% of the film in Old-Timey days was a good move too, it puts the audience in a mindset of "America is OK" and also "All of this crazy stuff probably did happen" so alot of the mad science can be forgiven. There's alot of silliness at the start with skinny Chris Evans but it basically does the job of setting the scene. Although this film is basically a big AVENGERS IS COMING WE PROMISE it does it's best not to feel like it, and Tommy Lee Jones is brilliant.



Here's your crib sheet:
Best Bit: Captain America and Red Skull Facing off over an exploding warehouse, really dramatic first "Proper" meeting of the leads. (Hugo Weaving is flipping brilliant)
Worst Bit: When the idiot ginger kid gets dropped in the river, Captain America has time to stop and let him crack wise? The bollocks alarm has gone off.
Say This: An entertaining movie with the right amount of explosions to keep the story going. 
Don't Ask: Why was the guy allowed to keep his bowler hat on? In a WAR?

WE TOTALLY NEED THIS

At least we know why those Lumiere guys were bothering in the first place.

Do you get to know the end of the film if you look over the top of the screen?

(review of Captain America THIS WEEKEND)

Julian Assange On Trial

Yes, everyone's been hacked and Rupert Murdoch's melting candle face is dominating the front page, so you may have missed Julian Assange's trial earlier this week. It was quite interesting and important. But don't worry, you can catch up here... 

Julian Assange is, for those unfamiliar, the figurehead for Wikileaks- the organisation that began casually releasing a stream of embarrassing, yet often revelatory, private memos from the US state department earlier this year. Unfortunately, he also has the face of a perverted uncle.

You know. Those grey locks. The "sparkling" eyes. That lascivious smile faintly reminiscent of the creepy guy on the night bus. Or your uncle. Or your uncle on a night bus.

He's accused of being a "high tech terrorist", there have been calls for his assassination, and Newt Gingrich declared "Wikileaks should be closed down permanently", despite overlooking the fact his name is Newt, and therefore nothing he says can be taken seriously. Aside from this, you could almost see the reams of US government officials trawling through Assange's history as the cables continued to leak, snuffling for any dirt they could find to send him packing to a large manhole. Or, alternatively, Sweden.

First came the online dating profile. That wasn't great, but it wasn't an arrestable offence. Second came the allegations of rape in Stockholm last August, which wasn't so great. And was definitely arrestable.

Having been confined in Norfolk (!) for over six months, wearing an electronic ankle bracelet and checking in daily at the Norfolk police station, Assange was finally was put on trial.

Two women, AA and SW, described "circumstances in which they did not freely consent with coercion" and now it's the Royal Courts will decide whether or not to send him packing to the manhole/Sweden quicker than you can say BUT AA SPENT FOUR NIGHTS PRIOR TO THE ALLEGED ASSAULT SLEEPING IN A SINGLE BED WITH HIM.  Or GOD I REALLY WANT SOME SOUP.

Not that there isn't evidence for rape, of course. Assange did apparently rip their clothes off, break a necklace and try to get down on it without a condom. In fact he didn't try. He definitely got down on it. Thanks to The Guardian, we have all the details whether we wanted to know or not. Assange "trying to force her legs apart to insert his unprotected penis"? Cheers, yeah. Of course it's a severe situation, but one can't help feeling vaguely unhappy about the visuals. Sort of like if your grandmother's boob fell out over Sunday dinner. Serious, yes. Pleasing? Hardly.

The charming images continued with some some lovely debates about the life cycle of an erection. Assange's counsel, QC Ben Emmerson pointed out: "If she chooses to spend a night in a single bed with a man there is a strong possibility she will come into contact with an erect penis." to which the judge agreed, and everyone in the Royal Courts threw up on themselves at the thought of.

The issue isn't, however, the evidence. An extradition verdict is concerned with whether the charge amounts to a crime, based on the conduct. The question isn't whether this is a "good" case or a "bad" case- despite the fact SW, according to the prosecution, told a friend she felt police had "railroaded her" into pressing charges- it's whether what has been alleged amounts to an offence.

Perhaps he is guilty, in which case  he should be punished. Perhaps this was blown out of proportion as a handy way of ensuring he- and consequently, Wikileaks- loses face by bombarding us with unsavoury images of him being a perv. WHO KNOWS? (I don't)

And there are more pressing issues than Julian's Assange. If he is extradited, Sweden could in turn extradite him to the US. Jetlag aside, he could go down the same route as Pfc Bradley Manning, accused of leaking documents to WikiLeaks earlier this year. Manning has been kept in solitary confinement in the US for over eight months under conditions that are, according to many, tantamount to torture.

Whether or not this is true, there are a lot of influential, powerful and probably quite well-built people in the US that would really like to be left in a room, alone, with Julian. And by that, I am insinuating they want to punch him. In case it wasn't clear.

So that's- very briefly- where we are so far. Now you're filled in, go and follow it just as we're approaching Crunch Time safe in the knowledge that you've got some, y'know,  knowledge.

The Olds of the World

It's all bloody kicking off in the press at the moment. If you haven't been keeping up with things or have been living in the belly of a whale since 2005, then I'll fill you in. Turns out, the News of the World spoiled things for themselves by listening in to the phone calls and voicemails of celebrities. And it turns out that noone really cares. Even when the celebrity in question played a bumbling prime minister with a thing for Tiffany off Eastenders.

What's one thing that always grabs people's attention (a valuable tool the NOTW have never been afraid to exploit)? Horrible crimes committed against young girls. Just as much as we didn't care that Hugh Grant had his voicemails listened to, the NOTW didn't care about the on-going investigation into the kidnap and murder of Milly Dowler. They listened to messages, deleted them and played all kinds of havoc with the emotions of her family and the police investigation.

All of a sudden, everyone cared. The nation cried out in unison,  a cry of "HOLD ON ONE ARSING MINUTE"

I've always been a firm believer that the tabloids will do anything for a story and don't tend to worry about the scruple shaped hole in their front doors. This sort of behaviour did not come as a surprise to me but it seemed to take alot of people by surprise. News Corp (who owned NOTW) are in the middle of trying to buy out the rest of BSkyB, and to do so have to prove they are fit and proper to broadcast telly. To convince people they are (they aren't) they shut the News of the World. The newspaper that has been open for 168 years. I'm not going to miss it. But some people will.

You know who no one gives a shit about? Rebekah Brooks. Yet she has been saved at the expense of everyone who worked at the NOTW, she is still in her highly paid job at Rupert Murdoch's side. Is this right? Is this the end of it? I hope not.

The best solution I can see is to subject the written press to the same regulation as the BBC and other broadcasters. Broadcast Journalism still provides scoops (as Jon Snow proved by scooping the NOTW) and still provides fascinating content. Why can't the newspapers?

Because they've been getting away with not having to try for too long.